Quotes & Jokes about Problems / page 3

43 quotes

Now I have a fax machine. I never had one before, and I might have to admit, I'm excited to use it. But the problem is, I don't really have anything to fax. I mean, take a good look at me. Do I look like I have any documents that need to be somewhere in a hurry?

Making people laugh is giving, and it's healing, too, when people can go up to the movies and forget about their problems. It's a good thing. That's why I want to work.

I don't dislike children, I just don't particularly want to be around with them a lot. Problem is, neither do their parents.

Pretty girls have problems too.

I have the kind of show that reminds you of your problems, and then I talk about other problems you didn't even know you had until tonight.

We have white people problems in America. You know what that is? That’s when your life is amazing, so you just make stuff up to get worried about.

Everyone has the same kind of fears; everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and 'I hope horrible things don't happen to my family,' but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.

The problem with most people, is that they are most people.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

Sometimes the only solution is figuring out a bigger problem to focus on.

I didn’t realize I had any problems until you fucking brought it up.

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That’s something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. When they talk about values, they’re talking about things like going to church, voting for Bush, being loyal to Jesus, praying. These are not values.