Stand-Up Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Navy

6 quotes

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

They only seem to be talking to themselves. What if they're not? What if they're actually synchronized? What if for every guy walking by himself going, 'Nobody tells a navy man when he's had enough to drink 'cause only a navy man knows when he's had enough to drink,' maybe there's another guy, 30 miles away, walking by himself going, 'Shut up! You weren't in the navy. Kiss my butt. I don't need this.'

Another thing when I'm president? If you're in the army, the navy, any branch of the armed forces... you can fuck whoever you want!

Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is appropriate to have civilians with no experience running a Navy sub. Hey, how about an investigation into whether it's appropriate to have a civilian with no experience running the country?

Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.