Quotes & Jokes by Billy Crystal / page 2


To be good, you need to believe in what you're doing.

Change is such hard work.

You look mahvelous!

My granddaughter's birth has made me want to create things she will love.

Never say famous last words, because they could be.

I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.

I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap.

People thought this would be an award show - but we couldn't get anybody to open up the envelopes. I've been backstage at a lot of rock concerts, and I've never seen musicians run away from white powder before!

I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.

This guy was so large, he had his own climate.

When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends.

As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.

Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.

From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.

I had really good hearing and when you're scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.