Quotes & Jokes about Work

34 quotes

The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. The middle class: pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. The poor are there... just to scare the shit out of the middle class.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work.

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

It's really not that hard. If I do a Tonight Show, it's six or seven minutes. If I do a concert, it's 90 minutes. If I do an interview, that's 15 minutes. So by the end of the day I've done three hours worth of work.

What is that fucking dot on Indian guy's heads? I know what it is. It's a camera. That's why they work at 7-11. Don't steal shit. They got your ass on camera.

If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, "I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!"

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

Hard work is a misleading term. Physical effort and long hours do not constitute hard work. Hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. Anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing, you're doing hard work.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.