Quotes & Jokes about Work

34 quotes

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work.

The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. The middle class: pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. The poor are there... just to scare the shit out of the middle class.

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

There must be 15 shows about people's jobs: 'Ice Road Trucker,' 'Axe Men,' 'Dirty Jobs.' Unemployment is so high, we're watching people work.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

It's really not that hard. If I do a Tonight Show, it's six or seven minutes. If I do a concert, it's 90 minutes. If I do an interview, that's 15 minutes. So by the end of the day I've done three hours worth of work.

I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.

I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning... That can keep me awake for days.