Quotes & Jokes by Bobby Slayton

I don’t get the point of drug commercials. Like the thing with the frying pan and the egg. “This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?” Yeah, do I get bacon with this?

We have blacks and whites, Jews and Arabs, Serbs and Croats, and Filipinos and Vietnamese here. At the end of the day, everyone is each other's brother.

A lot of these kids have no fathers, and they want to be gangsters. They don't believe in God and have no faith in anything but their own instincts. Boxing provides a way for them to express themselves in a positive way, and I'm happy to be able to help them.

You know who doesn't get the death penalty? Crazy people. That’s a defense in America. "My client’s crazy. He doesn’t know what he did." Fine, then he doesn't know we’re gonna kill him. If a guy's that retard, you put him the electric chair and tell him it’s a ride.

I had a porn star in the audience the other night, and she really doesn’t like performing sex scenes. She says, “I fake my orgasms. I can’t wait for this to get off me. And all I can think about is getting paid and having dinner later.” I said, “Wow! I’m married to a porn star!”

If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.

I offend everybody.

Women don’t have dicks and they don’t want dicks. That amateur psychology crap that women want penises. And they certainly don’t want testicles. Because you know no women in her right mind is going to carry around a bag that she can’t put stuff in.