Quotes & Jokes by Carrot Top


Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, "Can you please screw this up really bad?"

I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people... especially comics.

People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big.

Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable.

I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college.

On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week.

So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason.

My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook.

The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.

It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.

Like I told Howard, I can't help it that I'm beautiful.

Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.

My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.

I never looked at Gallagher like he was a threat to me.

I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.