Quotes & Jokes by Carrot Top


Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, "Can you please screw this up really bad?"

People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big.

On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week.

The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.

My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook.

Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable.

So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason.

It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.

My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.

I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college.

Like I told Howard, I can't help it that I'm beautiful.

I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.

Video games are so popular these days, getting the opportunity to star in one is something special. More people should do it.

I never looked at Gallagher like he was a threat to me.

People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something.