Quotes and Jokes by Henry Cho

Henry Cho is an American stand-up comedian. His work can be heard nationwide several times weekly on XM Radio's Channel 151, Laugh USA, Sirius Radio's Blue Collar Radio Channel 103, and Pandora Radio's PG Comedy Radio Channel.

Top 15 Most Popular Quotes (out of 23)

#1

Guys take care of your wife when she’s pregnant. Don’t say stupid stuff either, like me. I came home one time. My wife’s six months pregnant. She’s lying on the couch. There’s food and clothes everywhere. And I walked in and went, “What’d you do today?” Don’t do that. My wife looked up and said, “Today? I don’t know, Henry. Let’s see… what did I do today? Today I made a lung.”

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#2

Sharks attack surfers because they look like a seal. Apparently, when you’re layng on your board and you have your arms and legs hanging off, from underneath you look like a seal. So I just got a picture of a seal and put a red line through it and put it underneath my board.

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#3

I’m an Asian with a Southern accent. To a lot of people, that right there is funny.

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#4

My standup has always been a direct reflection of my life. When I was single, I talked about single stuff. I talked about dating. When I got married there were only a handful of stories I could move over to where I wasn't going to be disrespectful to my wife. So I developed a new routine.

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#5

My wife at times will say I'm stubborn, selfish, insensitive, vague, deaf at times, blah, blah, blah... but she's never said I was boring!

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#6

I'm going old school. Adult comedy but you can have your kids in the room. Kind of Andy Griffith meets Bill Cosby meets Bob Newhart. Also my character isn't an idiot as all the rest of the sitcoms recently have the dad character like Homer Simpson.

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#7

So, I’m from the South. So I guess that makes me South Korean.

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#8

My family is number one in my life. I'll blow off writing or just about anything to make sure I take my son to preschool or watch him at his swimming lesson.

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#9

I’m smart cause I’m Korean, I’m not so smart cause I’m from the south. They cancel each other out, so I’m even.

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#10

My show is an adult comedy show, but it isn’t offensive. Your kids could listen to it, even though I hope they wouldn’t ‘get’ most of it. But I get a lot of fan mail from soccer moms saying ‘I love having your CD because I can listen to it with my kids in the car.’

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#11

My comedy is for adults, but you can have your kids listen to it. They won't get all the jokes because hopefully I'm more cerebral than a 10-year-old... but if you ask my wife, I'm not!

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#12

Growing up, I loved Bill Cosby and Bob Newhart. They are a big reason I’m a storyteller because they are two of the best.

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#13

In the early days I was on the road 45-50 weeks a year, driving from gig to gig 6-8 weeks in a row. Not everyone can do that. The show becomes the easy part. Tt's the life on the road that is the hardest... and you can't get any good at standup unless you do the road.

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#14

My wife gets mad because we'll be in the middle of something and I'll stop and say, 'No, I've got to write this down!' She'll say, 'No! We're in a discussion!' I say, 'I know, but it's hilarious!'

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#15

College is great. It’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents... and bounce it.

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