Quotes and Jokes by Jonathan Winters

Jonathan Harshman Winters III was an American comedian, actor, author, television host, and artist. Beginning in 1960, Winters recorded many classic comedy albums for the Verve Records label.

Top 15 Quotes (out of 9)


If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to meet it.


God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.


Now the freaks are on television, the freaks are in the movies. And it's no longer the sideshow, it's the whole show. The colorful circus and the clowns and the elephants, for all intents and purposes, are gone, and we're dealing only with the freaks.


If God had really intended man to fly, He’d make it easier to get to the airport.


I was talking to a businessman, and I said, "Don't you think most men are little boys?" And he said, "I'm no little boy! I make seventy-five thousand dollars a year." And I said, "Well, the way I look at it - you just have bigger toys."


Throughout my life, I've been gratified that I've been able to keep the child in me alive and inspire others.


Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.


When you wear so many hats in society, you never know who you are. That's the beauty of it. Because once you find out who you are, you're screwed.


I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.