Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1222
I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
The biggest plus of marriage is finally realizing that we are alone.
A real cop fights real crime. A vice cop's only job is to ruin the party.
Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on.
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
"Scatterbrain" is one of those harmless little words you use a million times... Then it turns up in a crime scene description.
I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.
The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.