Quotes & Jokes about Brain / page 3

Well, honey, she's brain dead. Her brain doesn't work anymore.' 'You mean like Uncle Rudy?' 'No, honey, Uncle Rudy's on Thorazine. And Paxil. And marijuana. And merlot.'

Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!

Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people!

Human beings only use ten percent of their brains. Ten percent! Can you imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other sixty percent?

There are certain parts of a classic nerd’s brain that can destroy that person - obsessing about things to the detriment of everything else in your life. But those are the same tools that you can use to turn everything around.

My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.

It's a constant battle between what your heart tells you, and what your brain tells you.

Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids, and I can get into the mind of a kid. In my brain, I consider myself the ultimate video game player. The ultimate snack maker.

If my brain hadn't shrunk, I'd be insulted.

So I think if you're happy with your brain, you're powerful.

I have the brain of a German Shepard and the body of 16-year-old boy. They’re both in my car and I want you to see them.

I was born in Galveston, Texas in 1957 in the middle of a hurricane. I guess because of the drop in the barometric pressure it affected my brain and I was destined to become a stand up comic, although at that age I wasn't aware of my destiny.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it's part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.

Now we have hands-free phones, so you can focus on the thing you're really supposed to be doing ... chances are, if you need both of your hands to do something, your brain should be in on it too.