Quotes & Jokes about Change / page 3

After my bypass surgery I knew I had to change my lifestyle, and then it occured to me - I don't have a lifestyle.

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?

I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.

If you don't wake up every day happy, change something.

My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.

The world really changed after 9/11, not just in the tragic way, but in every way. So it took me a couple of years to even understand how my art form I could process any of this. When the world changed, eliciting laughter with subjects that were funny to me before 9/11 just didn't seem good enough.

I think if I were to get as big as I could get, it does change your mind-state. I think like the little man. I think like the underdog. I don't want to change that.

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

How do I say this without sounding like an egomaniac? I don't know a comedian that sells more seats than me in the red states and blue states, so I don't see where I have to change that much.

It's never good to change yourself for someone else. Unless you really suck.

I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it.

One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.