Quotes & Jokes about Dating / page 6
I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
The problem with dating a model is they won’t go out with you if your cars color doesn’t match their outfit.
It's tough, but I try to wait until the second date before I bring up my dead girlfriends.
It's not really dating. I don't have any money, so we just kind of walk around. She'll always say things like, 'Where are we going?' 'Further.'
A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.
The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned - not nailed.
The only thing worse than dating a single mom is dating a single mom that won't put out.
Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!
If you have a date tonight, play it safe and leave your heart at home.
I'm not going to get to pick the restaurant. Because I'm going to go "where do you want to eat?", and she's going to go "I don't care." So I'll say, "okay, how about Italian?" "Hmmmm..." I'm not going to get to pick the movie, and there's a real good chance I'm not going to get lucky! That's not a date!
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don’t think there will be a second date.
Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.