Quotes & Jokes about Dating / page 6
The problem with dating a model is they won’t go out with you if your cars color doesn’t match their outfit.
Any female teachers watching the show tonight, you've got to quit dating the students. That's the least we expect out of you. When I was 14 years old, my teacher wouldn't let me bang the erasers.
It's not really dating. I don't have any money, so we just kind of walk around. She'll always say things like, 'Where are we going?' 'Further.'
It's tough, but I try to wait until the second date before I bring up my dead girlfriends.
A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.
The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned - not nailed.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
If you have a date tonight, play it safe and leave your heart at home.
A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don’t think there will be a second date.
Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!
I'm not going to get to pick the restaurant. Because I'm going to go "where do you want to eat?", and she's going to go "I don't care." So I'll say, "okay, how about Italian?" "Hmmmm..." I'm not going to get to pick the movie, and there's a real good chance I'm not going to get lucky! That's not a date!
Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.