Quotes & Jokes about Dating / page 6

105 quotes

The problem with dating a model is they won’t go out with you if your cars color doesn’t match their outfit.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.

Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!

It's not really dating. I don't have any money, so we just kind of walk around. She'll always say things like, 'Where are we going?' 'Further.'

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned - not nailed.

If you have a date tonight, play it safe and leave your heart at home.

Any female teachers watching the show tonight, you've got to quit dating the students. That's the least we expect out of you. When I was 14 years old, my teacher wouldn't let me bang the erasers.

A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don’t think there will be a second date.

I'm not going to get to pick the restaurant. Because I'm going to go "where do you want to eat?", and she's going to go "I don't care." So I'll say, "okay, how about Italian?" "Hmmmm..." I'm not going to get to pick the movie, and there's a real good chance I'm not going to get lucky! That's not a date!

Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?

It's tough, but I try to wait until the second date before I bring up my dead girlfriends.

When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?

I did that on a date once - I was wearing a bathing suit under my pants because I didn't do laundry. She wouldn't have known except for I had that white string flapping outside of my fly. She was like, 'What do you have - a tampon in there? What the hell's wrong with you?'

I'm dating a younger sexier crowd.