Quotes & Jokes about Dating / page 5

I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out, that’s like runs batted in.

You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don't feel good enough about myself to not date you.

I was going to get me a white woman, but O.J. messed it up for everybody. He set interracial dating back a thousand years.

I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?

I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!

Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant. I said, "I'll be the one driving the Mercedes and wearing a Rolex." Never found her, but when I got home my place was robbed.

My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.

At least gays don’t kill babies before their due date.

Here's how hot my wife is: on our first date, she started talking about kids. Christopher Titus: And I still married her.

I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.

I never dated much in high school or college.

When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'

Men don't realize that if were sleeping with them on the first date, were probably not interested in seeing them again either.