Quotes & Jokes about Dating / page 5
I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I don't see why I wouldn't. I'm fair game, its not like I'm that picky, you've seen the guys I've dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!
I ran into a woman I dated last year. I said, "You gave me a rash!" She said, "Put something on it." I said, "OK. Ten bucks says it was you."
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?
Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant. I said, "I'll be the one driving the Mercedes and wearing a Rolex." Never found her, but when I got home my place was robbed.
I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out, that’s like runs batted in.
I was going to get me a white woman, but O.J. messed it up for everybody. He set interracial dating back a thousand years.
You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don't feel good enough about myself to not date you.
I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
Men don't realize that if were sleeping with them on the first date, were probably not interested in seeing them again either.
Any female teachers watching the show tonight, you've got to quit dating the students. That's the least we expect out of you. When I was 14 years old, my teacher wouldn't let me bang the erasers.
My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.
Here's how hot my wife is: on our first date, she started talking about kids. Christopher Titus: And I still married her.