Quotes & Jokes about Dating / page 5
What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. "Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big." "That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later."
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?
I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I don't see why I wouldn't. I'm fair game, its not like I'm that picky, you've seen the guys I've dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!
Men don't realize that if were sleeping with them on the first date, were probably not interested in seeing them again either.
I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out, that’s like runs batted in.
Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant. I said, "I'll be the one driving the Mercedes and wearing a Rolex." Never found her, but when I got home my place was robbed.
I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
I was going to get me a white woman, but O.J. messed it up for everybody. He set interracial dating back a thousand years.
I ran into a woman I dated last year. I said, "You gave me a rash!" She said, "Put something on it." I said, "OK. Ten bucks says it was you."
You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don't feel good enough about myself to not date you.
My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.