Quotes & Jokes about Dating / page 7
When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
I fall in love so fast. I come back after the first date, I tell my friends, 'She's unbelievable!' And they say, 'What did she do?' 'I don't know. I think she's a mammal.'
I did that on a date once - I was wearing a bathing suit under my pants because I didn't do laundry. She wouldn't have known except for I had that white string flapping outside of my fly. She was like, 'What do you have - a tampon in there? What the hell's wrong with you?'
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.'
I remember one date I had, we ran into some guy she knew and she introduced us. She said, 'Steve, this is Rodney. Rodney, this is goodbye.'
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man tends to get away with date rape more often. Also shoplifting and cheating at monopoly.
If you’re dating someone that says they’ve “got their priorities in order” that’s code for, “I’m spiraling out of control.”
Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.
If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are "geographically undesirable."
I once dated a guy who was so dumb he couldn't count to twenty-one unless he was naked.
If the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,’ please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
Dating is great unless you don't like horrible awkwardness, lying, and a deep foreboding sense of disappointment that never goes away.
Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?