Quotes & Jokes about Dating / page 7
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.
I remember one date I had, we ran into some guy she knew and she introduced us. She said, 'Steve, this is Rodney. Rodney, this is goodbye.'
I fall in love so fast. I come back after the first date, I tell my friends, 'She's unbelievable!' And they say, 'What did she do?' 'I don't know. I think she's a mammal.'
I did that on a date once - I was wearing a bathing suit under my pants because I didn't do laundry. She wouldn't have known except for I had that white string flapping outside of my fly. She was like, 'What do you have - a tampon in there? What the hell's wrong with you?'
Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
If the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,’ please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is.
If you’re dating someone that says they’ve “got their priorities in order” that’s code for, “I’m spiraling out of control.”
I once dated a guy who was so dumb he couldn't count to twenty-one unless he was naked.
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.'
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man tends to get away with date rape more often. Also shoplifting and cheating at monopoly.
If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are "geographically undesirable."
Dating is great unless you don't like horrible awkwardness, lying, and a deep foreboding sense of disappointment that never goes away.
I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.