Quotes & Jokes about Death / page 2

The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.

Life is tough, then you die.

What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.

You should never die for your beliefs, because what if you're wrong?

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn’t want to talk about, like death.

Death is an acquired trait.

Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table's ready."

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

I'm coming back. And when I get back, then we'll be together forever - forever and ever and ever - until death. Even beyond - beyond death: two souls enmesh as one soul! One soul floating for all of eternity in the great abyss, the aftermath, that which remains unknown to all who dwell in the trappings of mortal flesh, until the final passing!' Anyway, that's what I left on her answering machine. She hasn't called back yet.

I'm not ready to die. Period. To begin with, I cannot imagine a future without me in it. Can't do it.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

So then, what do you believe in? Sex and death. Two things that come once in my lifetime. But at least after death you're not nauseous.

I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.