Quotes & Jokes about Death / page 2

The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.

So then, what do you believe in? Sex and death. Two things that come once in my lifetime. But at least after death you're not nauseous.

I'm coming back. And when I get back, then we'll be together forever - forever and ever and ever - until death. Even beyond - beyond death: two souls enmesh as one soul! One soul floating for all of eternity in the great abyss, the aftermath, that which remains unknown to all who dwell in the trappings of mortal flesh, until the final passing!' Anyway, that's what I left on her answering machine. She hasn't called back yet.

Life is tough, then you die.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm.

You should never die for your beliefs, because what if you're wrong?

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn’t want to talk about, like death.

Death is an acquired trait.

What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.

I'm not ready to die. Period. To begin with, I cannot imagine a future without me in it. Can't do it.

Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table's ready."

I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?