Quotes & Jokes about Girlfriends / page 3
My girlfriend likes to play doctor. So I always make her wait 90 minutes before I see her.
My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.
Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.
Women hate women. You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for twenty five years, you put a man in between them … "fuck that bitch," "fuck that bitch."
Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.
When my girlfriend cooks dinner, I'm happy to do the dishes. Because I make her wash dishes when I take her to a restaurant.
I've always wanted a black girlfriend. Not as a joke, just so when we sixty-nine I can call it Yin-Yanging.
Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world... That's me... But to my wife...
I got 11 vibrators for my birthday this year. Do my girlfriends think I'm at home double teaming myself?
My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading.
My girlfriend just asked me for ten grand because she wants fake tits. I said no, baby. You need fake tits.
My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep.
Last year I gave my girlfriend eyeglasses for her birthday. This year I got her Lasik surgery. Because she didn't need the glasses.
My girlfriend said, "Emo, I'm seeing another man." I said, "Well, try rubbing your eyes or something."