Quotes & Jokes about Girlfriends / page 3
My girlfriend likes to play doctor. So I always make her wait 90 minutes before I see her.
Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.
Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.
My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.
When my girlfriend cooks dinner, I'm happy to do the dishes. Because I make her wash dishes when I take her to a restaurant.
Women hate women. You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for twenty five years, you put a man in between them … "fuck that bitch," "fuck that bitch."
I've always wanted a black girlfriend. Not as a joke, just so when we sixty-nine I can call it Yin-Yanging.
Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world... That's me... But to my wife...
I got 11 vibrators for my birthday this year. Do my girlfriends think I'm at home double teaming myself?
My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading.
Last year I gave my girlfriend eyeglasses for her birthday. This year I got her Lasik surgery. Because she didn't need the glasses.
My girlfriend just asked me for ten grand because she wants fake tits. I said no, baby. You need fake tits.
My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep.
I'm screwed. My girlfriend just found my massive porno collection. DVDs, magazines and hard drives. All over at her sister's place.