Quotes & Jokes about Golf / page 4

56 quotes

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.

Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but... they had a golf course.

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.

The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark...

If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.

President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a couple of strokes.

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

You might be a redneck if you've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.