Quotes & Jokes about Obama / page 2
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent.
My Obama is getting pretty good ... I think I'll vote for whoever makes my portrayal easier. It takes time to put together a comic impression. It takes time to recognize the tics. Right now, for instance, I could do a dead- on Paul Ryan and people wouldn't recognize it. Personalities take a while to sin...
President Obama. He is the man. I’ve tried the rest, and he is the best. My dream is for him to appoint me to be the Secretary of Humor. My first act will be to make whatever Larry the Cable Guy is doing illegal.
There were two Republican responses to the State of the Union. So if you watched the whole night, it was kind of evolution in reverse. You have Obama, then Paul Ryan, and then Michele Bachmann. Then Animal Planet had a squirrel monkey give his take.
Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to inspire people when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.
Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!
President Obama was in Indonesia today, and he spent a lot of his childhood there. It was like Dick Cheney going back to visit the Death Star.
Obama is huge in the polls these days. His popularity is soaring. Even conservatives are coming around. 30 percent of them now believe Obama deserves a Green Card.
I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
When every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out.
I appreciate the fact that Obama is the 'tech President'. I kinda like that, isn't that kinda cool? You see him, he's on his Blackberry. I'm like 'Is he playing BrickBreaker right now?'. He does like YouTube updates. Doesn't that have to be cool? Like you log in to your Myspace in the middle of the night and 'Oh fuck, Obama's on'. You can write to him 'Obama, what are you doing?'. 'Oh, I just downloaded that video of the kid shooting himself in the nipple with the paintball gun. You gotta see that. And I'm working on some legislation too'. 'Oh, good stuff. Obama, you on Facebook?'. 'Na, I got poked by a zombie and the Secret Service took me outta there, so...'.
Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only ones who won't take anything on faith?
If you read angry political blogs, substitute "Obama" with "my daddy" and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.