Quotes & Jokes about Religion / page 5
That's religion. You pray. You bow. You kneel. You fast. You trim the balls of a giant space penis.
Religion to me is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
When on guy sees an invisible man he's a nut case. Ten people see him it's a cult. Ten million people see him it's a respected religion.
I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime — who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'
Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe - dare I dream it? - maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.
"A national day of prayer"? Does that scare the spine out of anyone? Especially when you consider that it's all those dog-shit religions that start these fucking wars to begin with. Ninety percent of every war that's ever been fought is because of some made-up, mind control, completely fictional religion.
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.
That’s why I don’t have a religion. I don’t want to have to say that, okay, I agree with everything a guy says.