Quotes & Jokes about Religion / page 7

99 quotes

It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.

What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this bullshit into my head. I believed in Santa Claus and the Fairy Godmother, of course I believed in a virgin birth, and a guy lived in a whale, and a woman came from a rib. But then something happened that made me doubt all of it: I graduated sixth grade!

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

I love Jesus. I just don’t like the Christians who don’t believe in what he says.

I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.

If conservatives don't want to be seen as bitter people who cling to their guns and religion and anti-immigrant sentiments, they should stop being bitter and clinging to their guns, religion and anti-immigrant sentiments.

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.