Quotes & Jokes about Respect / page 3

With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.

How do we help the church get their respect back? I have a plan: pedophile crucifixions.

Last Christmas I got no respect. In my stocking, I got an odor-eater.

I don't get no respect, are you kiddin'? The time I got hurt. On the way to the hospital, the ambulance stopped for gas.

President Bush never really has to answer a question. Nobody ever says to him, "With due respect, sir, your answer had absolutely nothing to do with the question I asked."

I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.

If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.

With my old man I got no respect. When he took me hunting he gave me a three minute head start. Then on the way home he tied me to the fender and put the deer in the car.

I don't get no respect, no respect at all!

I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetary plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighborhood!"

With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'

When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, "I'm gonna run away from home." She said, "On your mark..."

When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.

I tell ya, I don't get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to twice a month. But I thought about it, and I figured that it wasn't too bad. I know a couple of guys that she cut out completely.