Quotes & Jokes about Restaurants / page 4

I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn't have what I wanted.

I'm gonna open up my own place. Open my own restaurant and get away from you people. I'm gonna open up a restaurant with two smoking sections; Ultra and Regular, OK! And we're not gonna have any tables or any chairs or any napkins. None of that pussy shit.

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I went to a fancy french restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?"

We thought O.J. was a fluke. Turns out O.J. was a trend setter! Since then, O.J., Peterson, Robert Blake, who got off on the "I couldn't have shot her, I left my gun the restaurant" defense.

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, "Heimlich maneuver," and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say "Heimlich maneuver" when you're choking to death.

The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

I was in a restaurant that had a sign that said 'Restrooms For Customers Only'... I thought, it must suck to work there.

Overheard today in restaurant: "Can you stop listening to our conversation?"

I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get it. You sit here - I'll get it, I'll make it.'

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant. I said, "I'll be the one driving the Mercedes and wearing a Rolex." Never found her, but when I got home my place was robbed.

It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.

And how does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?