Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1080
Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.
I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.
I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!' I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'
Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak?
I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it’s not even going to be consistent with the same person. People can hold liberal and conservative dogma points at the same time. They’re not living their lives via platforms. They’re living their lives. The whole thing is an awfully tired construct.
I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.