Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1080
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.
All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
Bush didn't really win on his popularity last time. He won on scaring people that Kerry might do something stupid like, I don't know, sell the ports to the Arabs.
I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.
You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people who want to vote for Bush but don't think Bush is Jewish enough.
The views expressed by me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact me.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.