Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1081
When in doubt, I can stare blankly. The rubber face. There's only so many ways you can stare incredulously at the camera and tilt an eyebrow, but that's your old standby: What would Buster Keaton do?
I before e except after c and sounding like a in a neighboring way and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May YOU'LL ALWAYS BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!!
Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We’re in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.
Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because for the longest time, I have said that president Bush must set a timetable for removing his head from his ass... and, by god, last week they went in and looked for it. They didn't find it, so now we don't know where it is, but at least for once in my life, I get to see the words "Bush", "operation", and "successful" in the same sentence.
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes".
You might be a redneck if you roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.