Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1081
Bush didn't really win on his popularity last time. He won on scaring people that Kerry might do something stupid like, I don't know, sell the ports to the Arabs.
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people who want to vote for Bush but don't think Bush is Jewish enough.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.
Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on the bottom of the letter. Like I'm that much of a moron. Like I need that there. Because if it wasn't there, I'd get to the bottom of the page: 'And so Kathy and I went shopping and we' That's the craziest thing! I don't know why she would just end it that way.
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.
Given human nature, as far as I'm concerned, I think each of us should have a legal option before we are forced to be included in mankind.
Friday's turmoil in global markets looks set to continue to exert a dominant force on the foreign exchange markets. The usual trend when U.S. stocks fall is that the U.S. dollar suffers.
The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?