Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1081
I am sick of deconstructing their propaganda, because it's pretty much the same as it's always been. It's just repeating something over and over again until we believe it and we hope that you believe it.
I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not yet attacked me.
It's the greatest when your girlfriend says to you, "dude... you need to go and get laid."
During her pregnancy my mother referred to me as a "wreck-in-progress."
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?
The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.
Is it cynical to assume that anyone smiling is a liar and a criminal?
If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.