Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1081
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.
On sex later on in a relationship: "I have this! Are you interested?"
I don't know about condoms for everyone in porn. But there is a strong case for goggles.
You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
I shouldn't say bad things about the illiterate, though..I should write it. That way they won't find out.
When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
The real focus at first is to just become a good stand-up comedian, and then when you get to a certain level, then they allow you to do other things. You feel if you're overwhelmed by something or if you're not.
Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.
