Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1081
There's nothing wrong with the word conspiracy. It just means 'to breathe together'.
Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, everybody loves them. But I thought this was interesting on the box, 'Konsult Kardiologist.'
I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
There is no "I" in "Team", unless you count the vertical part of the "T".
True love is when you’re cheating on a person but the thought of them still makes your eyes smile!
We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.
I before e except after c and sounding like a in a neighboring way and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May YOU'LL ALWAYS BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!!
Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
I don't know about condoms for everyone in porn. But there is a strong case for goggles.
The catholic church has a lot more money than any Colombian cartel and they leave a lot more bodies in their wake.
Credibility lasts about two cycles of bad material, and then you'll probably never get it back. If you let people down, that's really hard to come back from - harder than climbing from nothing to something, even.