Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1081
Studies show American students are becoming less proficient in math. Experts say we should have seen this coming, but nobody could put 2 and 2 together.
When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets...
Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you’re a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
You never make secret hallways normal height, they always have to be uncomfortable. Like Why the fuck did I build them like this?! Where's my Lab!?!
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure.
Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.
You might be a redneck if there is more oil in your cap than in your car.