Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1081
There is a new bill in the Senate that is upsetting a lot of people. This bill would give the President the power to shut off the Internet. Al Gore is strongly opposed to it. Not because he invented the Internet. Because he did. But because he just signed up for Match.com.
It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.
The catholic church has a lot more money than any Colombian cartel and they leave a lot more bodies in their wake.
People tell you to have a safe trip, as if you have some control over it.
Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.
