Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 223

The thing is, I hate political comedy. I personally loathe it.

Just want to do something special, for all the ladies of the world, and the girls... Carribean... Parisian... Bolivian... Eastern Indochinian... Reptilian... Presbyterian.

And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy.

Your relationship with an agent has got to be mutually beneficial. If you can't help their careers, then they're not going to be interested.

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.

Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.

There is a chalk outline being drawn around common sense, and most people cannot even identify the victim.

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

I'm always alone. Sad face emoticon.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.

Bullshit is truly the American soundtrack.

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

The guy that designed girls' volleyball uniforms definitely never had daughters.

I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.