Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 224
And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy.
Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, "I could never love anyone who ate a diaper."
The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
We cannot attain the presence of God. We're already totally in the presence of Fod. What's missing is awareness.
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
So it took me five years because in the interim I have been doing a lot of personal appearances and movies and some television series that went into the plumbing and I stopped writing for a while.
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
My theory is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. I tried to capitalized on the values that made the show work. I have to be nice to my guests at the hotel, as I had to do with my patients, even when they're bugging me. And the home-life part seemed to work. I don't want ever to ride the show into the ground. It has been good to me.
Your relationship with an agent has got to be mutually beneficial. If you can't help their careers, then they're not going to be interested.
Twitter does have an effect on everything - things you put out there, they are out there for good.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.