Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1134
I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.
There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking... And that's just the part where he fixes his hair.
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
Mr. President, there are some people who are never going to like you. That's why they voted for the old guy and Carrie's mom. You're not going to win them over. Stand up for the 70% of Americans who aren't crazy.
A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.
My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
I find it very annoying when people want to sit next to each other at a booth.
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.