Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 650
I said to my husband, my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs. He said, "Blue goes with everything."
Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.
Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.
I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, that's my only lil' girl. So if you think about huggin' or kissin'. Remember these words. I ain't afraid to go back to prison.
Being wealthy when no one else is is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
Any boob can run a day-care centre but it takes a family to raise some kids and that's what we're going to be from now on, a family.
If you're a host of a video show and you're on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, 'Well, that's what that person does.' That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
I live in New York right now but I'm originally from my daddy's nuts. We all are. Think about, we the lucky ones - we made it. You all are winners. That's the first race you ever won.
There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
My favorite show of all time has to be Charlie’s Angels… My hair was so feathered, that the back of my head looked like a butt.
My favorite sexual position is when the girl is facing Mecca and I am fighting off a wolf.
They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.
If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well, it's about time".