Quotes & Jokes about Airports / page 3
This year Heidi Fleiss will be opening the Stud Farm, her all-male brothel outside of Las Vegas. This is for women to find men. If you’re a guy looking for a guy, you still have to find it at the airport bathroom.
The good thing about being stuck at the airport for an extra hour, is that it gives you a chance to give weary travelers surprise massages.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete's feet don't exist, there's something wrong.
Victoria Beckham is so nasty, why doesn't she just go home?! Her dresses are beautiful, but I don't care what she does. She's mean to all the people around her. She's too short to be a diva. We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she's rude. She can't always just be having a bad day.
There are many different kinds of assholes in the world. But there's one particular kind of asshole that you see at the airport that's so annoying, and that is the person that is dressed like the destination to which it is they are flying. Do you know what I'm saying? The people that wear what they think the native costume of the land is that their going to. We're going to Denver, and I swear to you, this motherfucker had a parka made of bears.
He was in the air most of the time. On the air, in the air, one way or the other. It was his thing and this was his airport.
I was at the airport trying to pick up my mother. Well, it was dark in that lounge...