Quotes & Jokes about Brain
There's this critical point where you've stayed single for too long and your brain switches from 'You know, maybe I shouldn't say that.' to 'Eh, fuck it, say it, see what happens.'
I don’t know how she did it, but Rachel got poison ivy on her brain. The only way she could scratch it was if she thought about sandpaper.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
My grandmother’s brain was dead, but her heart was still beating; it was the first time we ever had a Democrat in the family.
The highway cop said, “Walk a straight line.” I said, “Well, Officer Pythagoras, the closest you could ever come to achieving a straight line would be making an electroencephalogram of your own brain waves.” He said, “You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Do you wish to retain that right?” I thought, “Oooh, a paradox!”
I don’t get the point of drug commercials. Like the thing with the frying pan and the egg. “This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?” Yeah, do I get bacon with this?
I can hear the wheels grinding in your confrontational brains, 'If he loves movies, then why does he seem to hate every one that comes out?' Because most movies stink like 1929's garbage - a particularly bad year for garbage - that's why! If everything didn't suck, then I wouldn't hate everything. It's that simple.
Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.
Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil’s workshop." And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
It's like my brain and my penis are locked in a chess match, and I'm letting him win.
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.