Quotes & Jokes about Christmas / page 6
If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, “It doesn’t do anything. It’s just a Christmas gift.”
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
You might be a redneck if your Christmas cards have a copy of your butt included.
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.
I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.
According to a new poll, 72 percent of pet owners buy their pets a Christmas present. In fact, in Las Vegas, Siegfried gave his cats a chew toy... Roy.
St. Patrick's Day is what Christmas would be like if Jesus had been killed by a car bomb.
Christmas was really where I started coming into my own as a performer because I did all this stuff on my own, all this performing on my own, When other kids were outside playing, I was in my room conjuring characters and impressions and things like that.
I grew up in Scotland in the 1970s. There was not much money. The most popular Christmas toy was probably a potato.