Quotes & Jokes about Christmas / page 6
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.
If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, “It doesn’t do anything. It’s just a Christmas gift.”
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
According to a new poll, 72 percent of pet owners buy their pets a Christmas present. In fact, in Las Vegas, Siegfried gave his cats a chew toy... Roy.
I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
You might be a redneck if your Christmas cards have a copy of your butt included.
Christmas was really where I started coming into my own as a performer because I did all this stuff on my own, all this performing on my own, When other kids were outside playing, I was in my room conjuring characters and impressions and things like that.
St. Patrick's Day is what Christmas would be like if Jesus had been killed by a car bomb.
I grew up in Scotland in the 1970s. There was not much money. The most popular Christmas toy was probably a potato.