Quotes & Jokes about Doctors / page 4

Whenever I meet a doctor, I like to pull them aside and say, "You're a doctor, right? Can you get me some... AIDS medicine?"

The morning after I had my heart bypass, the doctor called and said, "Soon you'll be able to have sex." I said, "I've heard that for years."

I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say 'Take off your clothes'?

The doctor looked my body over. I said: "Is there any hope?" He said: "Yes. Reincarnation."

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.

A historic operation occurred over in Boston. Doctors successfully transplanted tissue from a pig's brain to a man's brain - and the man's brain did not reject it. That pretty much confirms what women have been saying about men.

As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself.