Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 3
Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.
We’ve got 4 dogs, 2 of them are wiener dogs, those are her dogs. And they’re cute until they have to go to the vet, and then it’s like a billion dollars. I took them to the vet and our idiot vet goes, “That dog’s gonna have back problems right there.” No kidding! It’s got an 8-foot back and 2-inch legs! I could have figured that one out! Here’s another one, Doc Obvious. That right there’s a boy dog and he’s 1/4 inch away from dragging his transmission on the sidewalk!
What a dog I got. I tried to mate her - she wants 50 biscuits.
Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, "I could never love anyone who ate a diaper."
I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
I really think it's crazy that we hit our kids. It really is. Here's the crazy part about it. Kids are the only people in the world that you're allowed to hit. Do you realize that? They're the most vulnerable and they're the most destroyed by being hit, but it's totally OK to hit them. And they're the only ones! If you hit a dog, they fucking will put you in jail for that shit.
I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.
You might be a redneck if your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
That's why dogs are man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men.
Cell phones are like a dog’s nipples. You don’t have to shout into them.