Quotes & Jokes about Holidays / page 3
Let's face it, Americans are fat all year round, but the holidays are when we really hit our stride. And you can bet the food we eat will be just as unhealthy as the families we're forced to visit.
I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't.
4th of July is the perfect holiday if you think America has too many fingers...
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.
Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it.
I'm not big on Halloween. I never have been. As a kid my parents would send me out to collect for UNICEF, which just screws up the whole holiday. You're wearing a costume and people are giving you pennies and you're going, "Well, give me some candy, you fuck." And the grown-ups tell you, "Absolutely not. You've got your pennies. Now go build a village, you little shit." It still brings a tear to my eye.
I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.
Thanksgiving is a holiday that brought together two different cultures. The pilgrims came here with the best intentions. They decided to flee an oppressive people and move to a new land. Where they thrived. And became an oppressive people. You get certain people on the same continent, there's going to be a problem. Pilgrims and Indians. Protestants, Catholics. My family, anybody else's family.
For this being the holiday season everyone at the mall is pissed. Time to shop online.