Quotes & Jokes about Life / page 3

Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.

All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.

Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.

When life give you lemons... you probably just found lemons.

When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

I don't think anybody should go through life without a team of psychologists. I have been through times when I'm literally squatting in the living room, having one of those open-throated cries, where you're crying all the way to your butthole. I always believed I would come out of it, though.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.

Those times in life when you're terrified are the mastery times.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

My life is perfect even when it's not.

Life is a near-death experience.

I bought my kid an educational toy to help him make it through life. No matter how you put it together, it’s wrong.