Quotes & Jokes about Life / page 3

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

Life is a zero sum game.

When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.

Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

Life is a near-death experience.

I don't think anybody should go through life without a team of psychologists. I have been through times when I'm literally squatting in the living room, having one of those open-throated cries, where you're crying all the way to your butthole. I always believed I would come out of it, though.

When life give you lemons... you probably just found lemons.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.

Those times in life when you're terrified are the mastery times.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.

My life is perfect even when it's not.