Quotes & Jokes about Life / page 3

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

Life is a zero sum game.

When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.

It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.

Life is a near-death experience.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I don't think anybody should go through life without a team of psychologists. I have been through times when I'm literally squatting in the living room, having one of those open-throated cries, where you're crying all the way to your butthole. I always believed I would come out of it, though.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

When life give you lemons... you probably just found lemons.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.

People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.

Those times in life when you're terrified are the mastery times.

My life is perfect even when it's not.