Quotes & Jokes about Sex / page 2
They're putting the cart before the horse on this pornography issue. Playboy doesn't cause sexual thoughts. There are sexual thoughts, and, therefore, there is Playboy. Don't you see? I know these sound like deep philosophical questions, "What came first, the hard-on or the Madonna video?" and "If a hard-on falls in the forest, do you go blind?" and "What does an atheist scream when they come?"
I always thought music was more important than sex - then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.
I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
This is the amount of time you think about sex: every once in a while. The problem becomes, when you think about it, it's all you can think about. It encompasses your whole brain. You're like a fucking werewolf or something. Usually you're a civilized human being, but then every couple of days, you?re like 'arrrgh.' Then you've got to close the blinds.
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
The first time I had sex, I didn't know what I was doing. It was a relief when the whole thing was over after just 45 minutes.
Sex is logically impossible after marriage. You have to overcome the paradox of "Not this again," and "Hey, where did you learn that?"
Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.
Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.
The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.