Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1055
We had 1 book, the phone book, I’ve read it, it wasn’t a great read, lots of characters, and on the end loads of polish people turn up.
I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
As long as they're homophobic behind closed doors, and don't hurt anyone, I'm fine with it.
Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, everybody loves them. But I thought this was interesting on the box, 'Konsult Kardiologist.'
Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor, I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
It's nice to be in Washington, where the buck stops here. Way to go. And then it's handed out to AIG and many other people.
I can't control what people think this was. I can only tell you my intentions. This was not a rally to ridicule people of faith. Or people of activism or to look down our noses at the heartland or passionate argument or to suggest that times are not difficult and that we have nothing to fear. They are and we do. But we live now in hard times, not end times. And we can have animus and not be enemies.