Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1143
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York.
Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved.
A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
We made love, and I thought she had an orgasm. I said, 'Well, did you have an orgasm?' She said, 'Yeah, but I was hoping for a series.'
It's easy to point the finger at someone else and place blame. Go head try it it's fun. Pick anyone and start blame placing the shit outta them.
Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I’m surprised she hasn’t joined them!
I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it’s like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn’t do, probably.
My ex-wife claimed she was violated. Knowing my ex-wife, it wasn’t a moving violation.
Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It's the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.