Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1230
Regarding the marching band: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?
Sometimes I like to go outside without even checking the weather first.
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
I think our collective psychosis is hilarious. With the world moving as fast as it is, if we weren't dysfunctional, we couldn't function.
If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.
Everyone, calm down. I met with Mr. Cent about a potential project. There's nothing to report yet, I'll let you know if there is.