Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 610
Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"
They fucked around, started negotiating with those white people, they lost all that shit... And what they didn't lose negotiating, white people just kicked their ass on out of..
And for all of you at home, you are all welcome to visit my store. You are also welcome to park off you motherparking parks, and go park yourself. But remember, don't park in a handicapped spot.
The man has a 70% approval rate, which makes sense to me because he's pretty much done everything I expected him to do: the economy's in the toilet, we're at war and everything's on fire.
I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
A black man failing black history... ain't that some sad shit..... cuz you know, fat people don't fail cooking!
When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.
Some are from the world of the arts, some from the fields of business, architecture, wine-making and education. What they have in common is that they are all known nationally - and many internationally - for their wide-ranging achievements.
I don't know any skinny people who bully fat people. I just know skinny people who use fat people for rides.
I'm Drew Carey, and just like the Muppets, I've got someone's hand up my butt.
I'm the first person in history to die in my own dream but It turned out only to be a stunt double.