Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 644

The working classes, the ones they refer to in those political programmes as "the ordinary people".

Eve, who said to Adam, "What do you mean the kids don't look like you?" Never got a dinner! (Got an apple, but never got a dinner.)

Fleetwood Mac is just one of my all-time favorite bands.

A lot of comedians are selfish.

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.

MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.

It sounds like I'm always being facetious. That's why I never get voice over work. 'You sound like you hate the product.'

You can't ride two horses with one behind.

I'm forever a part of pop culture.

I'm always very happy to talk to people. I relate to people, and the guy on stage is very much the guy that's off stage. People know when it's fake.

There are only two Asian people that I know that I have any problem with at all. One is, uh, Guy Aioki. The other is my friend Steve who actually went pee-pee in my Coke. He's all, "Me Chinese, me play joke!" Uh, if you have to explain it, Steve, it's not funny!

Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.

I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.

The way I see it, the earth is going to be here after we're dead and gone. Even if it's a polluted planet, and they messed it up. Where do they go from here - to another planet so they can mess that up too?