Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 644
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that.
Although to be fair, cherry picking isn't quite what we do. Cherries are sweet and delicious. What we do is more turd mining. And I'll thank you to give our work the respect it deserves!
I went to this restaurant last night that was set-up like a big buffet in the shape of a ouigi board. You'd think about what kind of food you want and the table would move across the floor to it.
It looks like Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are ‘taking a break.’ Their engagement is off, and Heidi is going back to Colorado. This is really sad for Heidi and for all the Hills fans and for the entire state of Colorado.
Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.
I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that's ever happened to me has taught me compassion.
I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of shit that I don't need, and I refuse to share with others.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
I don't think that's a cute accent on dudes - the French accent. It makes my vagina shut like a steel trap. I mean, thank god for that other hole.
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you're not supposed to drink and drive?