Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 644
We are in the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun.
Growing up, it was always, ‘If you buy kosher meat, they’re killed humanely.’ But I’ve seen so many horrible videos. What we thought was humane 100 years ago is not humane anymore. The ways animals suffer, I just couldn’t be a part of it anymore.
I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
Stayed up and watched a little spanktrovision. It's the American way. There's really nothing wrong with spanktrovision. One of the best inventions of the 1900s, 20th century.
Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy.
I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying “I don’t want to bore you with the details”.
When we were on the bus doing the Mr. Show Hooray for America Tour there was a lot of laughter and a lot of pot smoking and a lot of speed metal listening and video game playing. Of course that was all Brian Posehn.
To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.
For the level of entertainment you get for the ticket, it's a solid show.
If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.