Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 644

25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.

I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife? Bullshit! You covet his wife, his house, his car, and his pool. You know why? Because he's coveting every inch of your shit, pal!

Sin is in, and so we begin...

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.

You might be a redneck if Red Man sends you a Christmas card.

I believe in people living their lives and having privacy.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Culture shock at barber shops cause I ain't hood enough.

Curb Your Enthusiasm set me up so perfectly. That was one of my favorite shows before I got on it. That started a whole different level of a story for me. I didn’t know how to process it until after I got on the show and realized what the purpose of it was.

For the record, I hate skiing...and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.

I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey.

I'm the only person on Earth who's not afraid to admit that black people are better dancers than white people! I said it, I said it! You were all thinking it, I said it!

It's not all about love. That's half of it... The other half is about that moment you have with yourself when you're looking in the mirror, and you just go, 'Oh man. I'm going to compromise my dreams, get fat, sick, old and die someday. I kind of want to have someone around for that.'