Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 644
I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Oh, but you need a tray. That's how they trick you into it."
I think Billy Martin said it best when he said "hey" <br /> [takes a drink of beer] "I can drive"
That would be a good public service announcement for Nickelodeon: "Hi, this is Bob Saget. Don't fuck that shit. Stay in school. And read!"
The way I see it, the earth is going to be here after we're dead and gone. Even if it's a polluted planet, and they messed it up. Where do they go from here - to another planet so they can mess that up too?
I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.
Mr Gallop you have a beautiful tale there. If you wear your coat long enough no one will notice it.
Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.
Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway.
I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white people! I want to see this guy!
