Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 644
Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.
I’m a big fan of talking dirty, but not everyone is good at it. I happen to be very good at it because I’m comfortable. I’ll say something sexy like, “You like that shit!”
Over the years, there certainly have been plenty of ideas that I've had and given up on, but for this one, the only thing that was standing in its way was me doing it - I just had to write it... And then if it didn't happen, it didn't happen. But I didn't want it to be for lack of effort on my part, so I had hunch that it would be a good story and that we would work well together. And it certainly worked out that way.
Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
For the record, I hate skiing...and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
I got a wake up call - not like, 'Stop doing heroin.' Like in a hotel.
No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'
If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.
People say, 'Well don't you regret not having kids?' And I go, 'No, not really.' And then if they keep asking, I always say this, 'Well, you know, maybe I'll adopt.' But I don't mean that. It's just something I say to make me sound like a nicer person.
This is the guy I'll be thinking about when I put a gun to my head.
I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of shit that I don't need, and I refuse to share with others.