Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 645
Then she doesn't say anything. She waits. It brews in her head like a little El Nino. She calls me 4am. Not even a call, a fax. That's worse. It's jarring. It's right next to my head, nothing's worse. 7 page fax. First one has just got a big F on it. I don't like where it's headed.
The working classes, the ones they refer to in those political programmes as "the ordinary people".
Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else.
Are your feet tired?.. Because you’ve been stomping on my dreams for a few years now.
'Several NFL players said they would support a team mate that came out as gay...' Yeah, why wouldn't you?!
I didn't know the full facts of life until I was 17. My father never talked about his work.
I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.
I feel so badly about what they do to turkeys. That's why this year my family and I are eating a live bird.
Fame for me is like a place, a country I'm taking a tour through.
A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.
I went to Missouri. I got a speeding ticket for $130. That’s a bunch of crap. Rent’s not $130 in Missouri…
It's not like some movies where you're following a bunch of different stories you can cut around. There was nowhere to cut to. It's these guys. We're not cutting back to anybody else.
The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.