Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 645
I get stressed out hearing Lindsey Buckingham talk about those days cause what I'm thinking... I don't know how he can't go 'And that's right before Mick Fleetwood fucked my girlfriend.
This was enormously challenging, because it involved filling 120 blank pages with an actual story and words people say.
I feel so badly about what they do to turkeys. That's why this year my family and I are eating a live bird.
I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'
This was in the 80's, when you couldn't just take a pill the next day to Control + Z that shit.
I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.
That would be a good public service announcement for Nickelodeon: "Hi, this is Bob Saget. Don't fuck that shit. Stay in school. And read!"
E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, "You look weird." Never got a dinner!
But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.
I’m a big fan of talking dirty, but not everyone is good at it. I happen to be very good at it because I’m comfortable. I’ll say something sexy like, “You like that shit!”
“My wife, shes carrying our first child…he’s 8, the lazy little fucker!”