Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 679
One of President Obama's winning points last night was about how sanctions against Iran are crippling their economy... and believe me if anyone knows how to cripple an economy it's President Obama!
Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It won't be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.
A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.
I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.
My life is nothing like the Daddy Day Care life. Me around the house is nothing like the Daddy Day Care dad.
You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
I think about being married again, having a home and a wife. No one can ever be married too many times, and maybe if I keep trying I'll get it right one day.
I would even walk so it wouldn't look like we're together. Here I can hold his hand.
God old people on coaches! Fuck they go past you at light speed! You can see their faces all up the back window!
Y'all, I am screaming at my television set: they're spitting cobras, you moron!