Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 803
I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you're a guy who generates money, people have a vested interested in controlling you.
Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.
Julie Christie was absolutely amazing in Away From Her. Brilliant movie. It was the moving story of a woman who forgets her own husband. Hillary Clinton calls it the feel good movie of the year.
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
New York is great though. If you're here and want a one of a kind souvenir be sure to take home the police sketch of your assailant.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.
John and I were gay together once... Wait, that's not true. He was gay and I just laid there. Thank you, John, for giving me your heiny last night.
Growing up in the '60s and the '70s, things certainly seemed more simplistic and easier to digest.
Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.
I admire Russell Simmons. He is a successful dude that has done a little bit of everything. He keeps it moving, and he’s still doing things. Larry David is also amazing. He is honest and blunt. A creative genius.