Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 927
I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new talent and talk about music, which is a passion of mine. I've written another book. And I get to come to work and do the TV show, which is always really fun.
The whole idea of re-releasing old movies does bother me a little bit. If they're going to re-release an old movie, I should be able to get in with my old ticket.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around.
I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so it's pretty equal. I don't know why that is. It's been the same thing for a while. It's hard for female comedians to stand out. That's weird. That's a shame.
I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world.
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.
It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.
Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.
Like most sharks, Margaret liked to think of herself as a victim of the cruel sea.
My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."