Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 927
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
What about your constitutional right to bear arms, you say. I would simply point out that you don’t have to exercise a constitutional right just because you have it. You have the constitutional right to run for president of the United States, but most people have too much sense to insist on exercising it.
I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
We just jumped out and started shooting with the band, and then one thing led to another. You see it unfold in the movie, but by the end of just hanging with them we had decided, 'Why don't we have them come to Brooklyn?' It was pretty awesome.
I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but gold paint. That’s a unique way to cover up herpes.
So, what are you in for? MANSLAUGHTER!!! I SLAUGHTERED A MAN!! JUST LIKE A PIG!!! PUT HIM ON A SPIT AND PUT AN APPLE IN HIS MOUTH!!!!
According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. They must be getting serious - Lance gave Ashley his yellow Live Strong bracelet. She wears it as a belt.
While I am venting hey oil companies why does gas cost different in different parts of the country. It's the same freaking gas.
The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.
Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule.
We started to see less and less of each other. And that’s when I knew it was quicksand.