Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 946
If you see a black woman with an overweight white man, you know she got effed up credit!
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
Venus de Milo’s mother, who once said to Venus, "You never call me. Can’t you pick up a phone?" Never got a dinner!
When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now... once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.
My buddy got busted for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides.
Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, 'you don't mention that part here.' But that's what's interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.
She loves me so much, my daughter. She doesn't want me to be lonely; isn't that nice? She's trying to fix me up with Robert Blake.
I just brush it off and try to make a joke about it. Over the years it's been interesting.
They don't want an educated populace capable of critical thought, sitting around the kitchen table realizing how badly they're getting fucked!