Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 945
As a child my parents said they believed in Santa Claus but that I didn't exist.
I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.
When you're born, you're pure. Unspoiled and trusting. Some say, it's the only time we're perfect. You're also born covered in blood and placenta. No one gets nostalgic about that.
Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera, doesn't it?
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.
I have never been in a bad mood and near a beach ball at the same time. Causation? Correlation? Or fate?
I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it.
Is there any indication we shouldn't be depressed? Are you living on the same planet that I am? Do you ever think that depression might be the reasonable human response to the crap we're going through as a species, meant to propel us into the next evolutionary step or, at least, into taking some different course of action, so that we might survive? Do you ever think that maybe it's the happy people that are really screwed up in the head?
Capote, of course, addressed very similar themes to Good Night and Good Luck. Both films are about determined journalists defying obstacles in a relentless pursuit of the truth. Needless to say, both are period pieces.
I would love to DJ the royal wedding. Just so I could play "Candle in the Wind" non-stop.