Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 970
There's a point when you're famous and it's unbearable to go out because you're too famous. And there's a moment when you're famous just right.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
Isn't that just being a whore? You don't need to join a club. Close your legs, sister.
I think the one thing I would point to as a primary reason, basically, is that I was a gigantic ass, ... It's the first time I got dumped in my life.
It takes time though for owners and trainers to invest that additional purse money to start cultivating that better racing product.
Three of my stocks went off the financial page - into the help-wanted section.
How do you lay low but still do your job? Try to stay out there without being out there like Jenny McCarthy?
Oh, this isn't a talk show; it's more just filling time, really, 'til the infomercials start.
We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed.
I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to pay some fees...
I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.
Black people don’t kill nobody they don’t know. Look at black-on-black crime. We kill each other because we know each other… When a black man goes to his ex-wife’s job because he wants to shoot a bitch because he don’t want to pay child support or alimony no more. He don’t kill everybody at the company. He says, “Get out the way, I just want to shoot that bitch right there.”