Quotes & Jokes by Ray Romano / page 2


I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.

I live in L.A. Now.

I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.

I'm aging, and the world is seeing it.

I'll be spending the holidays with my family. Nothing special, just some light bickering and biting sarcasm.

I like doing film, you know, single-camera.

The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.

It is even better the second time now that my tongue isn't scared.

I wasn’t really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I’d see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

My theory has always been that everyone in show business is there because they were deprived of some attention as a child.

If a guy’s ever telling you a four-hour sex story with a straight face, just feel sorry for him. Not for lying to you, but for lying to himself. As a matter of fact, stop him right in the middle of the story and just hug him. Nine times out of ten he’ll just break down and cry. He knows you know.

The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny.

I don't want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they're producing and creating.

I love standup and I haven't given it up.