Quotes & Jokes by Richard Pryor


Bitch was so fine I'd suck her daddy's dick.

My father died fucking. He did. My father was 57 when he died. The woman was 18. My father came and went at the same time.

Let me tell you what really happened. Usually when I go to bed, I have milk and cookies. And One night I had some low-fat milk and some pasteurized, And I mixed them together. And I dipped my cookie and the shit blew up.

I went to the White House, met the president... We in trouble. (on Reagan)

I'm not addicted to coke, i just love the way it smells!

You don't get to be old bein' no fool...

Who you gonna believe, bitch? Me? or your lying eyes?

When I hear 'yee-haw!', that scare the shit outta me. Cuz I know what come next. Y'all remember? Y'all's ancestors used to hang us for kicks? ..Muthafuckin on the weekend, hot, couldn't get no pussy? 'Let's go down to the jail, get a couple of them black ones and just string 'em up. ..yeehaww..' ..When I hear that, shit crawl all up and down my neck.

If you want some pussy, you'll talk all that shit with them. 'Hey, yeah, sure,, the cosmos.. sure..'

I'm not addicted to cocaine... I just like the way it smells.

I went to Zimbabwe. I know how white people feel in America now; relaxed! Cause when I heard the police car I knew they weren't coming after me!

How's my mama? How's your mama? I will slap you in the mouth with my dick.

Fuckin' is good for you, Jack. Gettin' some pussy beats having a war.

I was brought up in a whorehouse in Peoria. My mother and father lived there and worked there.

I couldn't stop. I put the pipe down. It jumped back in my hand.